Pregnancy is teaching me...

Sometimes I need to ask for help.

I hate not being able to do simple things, like refill the water cooler at work.  I know that sounds silly, but I am not used to needing help from others, no matter how willing they are to offer. When I told my boss I was pregnant he said, in reference to another colleague who recently had a baby, "we know some days she's not going to come in at 100%, and that's OK. We accommodate, and we're happy to do it because she has given so much to us in the past and continues to do so. Same with you." He said a lot more, which I will have to summarize in another post, but the point is, it's great to know I have support when I need it.

My life will change. I cannot do everything I used to do.

Ok, this is probably completely obvious to everyone but me.  Before I got pregnant, I came across some blogs about rock climbing while pregnant and thought, "that will totally be me!"  I knew which harness to buy, and I thought I was all set.  At my 7-week appointment, I shared my plans with my doctor, who rightfully, flipped out.  I looked back at the blogs I had found, and talked to some other climbers.  The fact is, I couldn't find any medically-based information that verified that yes, climbing is safe.  Maybe I wasn't looking in the right places, I don't know.  But for now, climbing will have to wait.

As will running, unfortunately.  Now, running is one activity that IS safe during pregnancy.  And I was running regularly, up until I fell at 22 weeks.  And I mean FELL.  My ankle turned and I was splayed out on the concrete, with scrapes on my knees and shoulder.  Of course, this happened the DAY AFTER my 22 week appointment.  Yes, I have a weak right ankle, but this has never happened to me before.  Back to the doctor I went, and the nurses hooked me up to a machine to monitor whether or not I was having contractions.  After 10 minutes, they determined the baby is safe and I was not having any contractions.  But, due to continued social pressure, mostly from my husband, who as he put it, "would like to put me in a bubble until I deliver," I switched to swimming instead.

I hate the question, "How are you feeling?"

I realize it's fairly common and people who ask have the best of intentions. And I would never want to offend someone by telling them I hate the question. But, I am healthy, capable and happy. Yes, it's true I can't do everything, but I can still do a lot. Most of the time, when people ask me, I say "good, how are you?" More often than not, they respond, "[confused look] I'm fine...but I'm not pregnant."

Life will throw curve balls no matter how well I plan.

I looked up maternity classes, knew exactly how much the cost of the delivery would be, and the hospital I would be delivering at. I even showed up at the hospital when I was four months along to ask questions (and the nurses were friendly and more than happy to chat, but even they said I was overly prepared).

Without going into the whole sordid mess, my health insurance situation (along with the health insurance of 200,000+ employees) is up in the air right now, through no fault of my own or my employer, and may not get sorted out until five days before my due date. Worst case, there is the possibility that my insurance carrier will not be available when I deliver, and the insurance carriers that are offered may not cover my delivery because of the timing.

To love my body.

People have always told me I'm skinny, but before I got pregnant, I was always self conscious. I always thought I could be thinner in one area, or bigger in another. I always found something that wasn't quite right. Those feelings didn't go away overnight (and I was especially self conscious during that fat-but-not-quite-pregnant-looking period around 4-5 months) but now when I look in the mirror, I am truly happy with what I see. I am conscious of what I eat, but I no longer look for the lowest calorie option because I know that won't get me through the day. Instead, I look for the options that provide for square meals--veggies, protein, fruit, and grains. I knew I would be making changes to provide the healthiest environment for my growing baby, but I'm not sure if the change in my mentality came from knowing that I can chalk up any imperfection right now to pregnancy, or whether it was something more. I'm sure the boost in my cup size has something to do with it!

I CAN do this.

When I was younger, there was no question in my mind as to whether or not I would have kids. I even made name lists (all girls--good thing I'm having a girl, I guess). Sometime during my sophomore year of college, I started to question whether I could truly balance a family and a career. I didn't want to just collect a paycheck; I wanted the corner office, fast-paced lifestyle, and I just didn't know if I could do that with a kid in tow. Over the past two years before I got pregnant I rarely worked less than 10 hour days, and it wasn't uncommon to work 14 hours a day or longer once a week. My New Year's resolution this year was to make more time for myself. Since finding out I am pregnant, I have put in less overtime and gotten things done. My staff seems less stressed and more flexible as well. I don't attribute these things to being pregnant, of course, but it's nice to see things fall into place.

The wait between monthly doctor visits feels like an eternity.

And the visits themselves will always feel too rushed. I always remember one more question for the doctor an hour after my appointment. Next week is my last monthly visit. After that, I'll be in my third trimester, which means I'll be going every two weeks!

My friends and family are truly amazing.

They go out of their way to show they care. Most of them don't have kids, and up until my husband and I announced I am pregnant, I told them I didn't want kids. I didn't expect them to understand or to care, but they do. And it means the world to me.