Dining Out

Before Allie, we used to dine out all the time.  As in, nearly every meal.  That lifestyle is very difficult with a newborn, and nearly impossible given the dietary restrictions.  Still, I have been fortunate enough to find some very knowledgeable food service professionals in the area.

Food sensitivities are tricky and different for each individual, but Noodles, Flattop, Meatheads, and Chipotle have all been great for me.  All of these websites clearly label their foods according to the specific allergens, and they have more detailed information available in the restaurant if you have questions. The manager at Meatheads and I actually talked for several minutes about food allergies! His son has a peanut allergy, and when I placed my order, he guessed my situation right away (that it was a food intolerance issue for the baby). It's nice to find people who understand!

Surprisingly, I have found fine dining restaurants to (generally) be less knowledgeable. However, they usually tend to be safe for me, as long as I keep the order simple. Typically, I'll order fish or chicken, and tell the server "I am allergic to all dairy and soy. Please hold the sauce, and cook it without butter." I've found it's just easier to say I have an "allergy" than to go into the whole spiel. If the restaurant trains their staff well, they usually have an allergy declaration sheet, and the server will look up my order on the sheet to make sure it doesn't contain dairy or soy. However, I've found that I need to be specific, and can't ever make assumptions. Most people forget that you have to consider not only the ingredients in a particular food, but also what that food is cooked in. For example, according to Flattop's corporate menu, the roti prata bread is safe for people avoiding dairy. However, they don't bother to mention the fact that it is cooked in butter! I hope I have become good at explaining my dietary restrictions without being pushy or annoying.

Two-Month Checkup

Allie's two-month checkup was today.  She is doing great!  Here's a look at her growth:

Birth: 7 pounds, 5 ounces, 19 inches,
5 days after birth:6 pounds, 9 ounces, 19.75 inches, 13.25" head circumference
Two week check up: 8 pounds, 2 ounces, 20 inches, 14.25" head circumference
Appointment at 7 weeks: 10 pounds, 11 ounces
Appointment at 8 weeks: 11 pounds
Two-month checkup: 11 pounds 9 ounces, 22 inches, 15.25" head circumference



She got her first round of vaccinations today.  That's her with her battle scars.  What a champ!  She had an interesting reaction to the shots.  For the first few hours after she left the doctor's office, she was wired.  Very awake, curious, and really wanting to play.  We knew we were in trouble because we could not get her to sleep.  Then, without warning, she starting screaming.  Loud, wailing cries.  Her whole face turned red.  She screamed for an hour.  Then, as quickly as she had starting screaming, she fell asleep.  And she slept for the rest of the night.  We'll see how tomorrow goes....

Catching up

Whew! What a whirlwind few months this has been! Motherhood is amazing beyond words. If I had known I could be this happy, I would have tried to have a baby years ago. I am so glad we waited though because this really is the perfect time physically, emotionally, financially and from every other standpoint.

A few highlights from the past few months.... I swam 30 laps a day until the 38th week. After that I started to really feel pregnant. Allison Nicole was born at 40.5 weeks after 31+ hours of labor. She was a healthy 7 pounds, 5 ounces, 19 inches tall, and had a 14.25" head circumference. She is a sweet, happy baby, and eats well. She surpassed her birth weight after two weeks (doctors normally just expect that she will be back to her birth weight at that point). When she was around a month old, she was diagnosed with Milk Soy Protein Intolerance. Since then, I have used my very generous maternity leave to research this condition and learn how to modify my diet to continue to breastfeed without upsetting her sensitive system. So, this blog will most likely address our adventures on this subject.

Her first swaddle

She loves bathtime!

What a relief!

The health insurance issues might be resolved after all.  Legislators voted to extend the insurance contracts until July 2012, which is much longer than I expected!  We're not completely out of the woods yet because the state still needs to negotiate contracts with the insurers, but that seems to be mostly logistical at that point.  This is such a huge weight off my shoulders.  If the contracts go through, the baby can come out whenever she is ready.  Even though my doctor had no concerns with inducing at 39 weeks (she seems convinced the due date is very accurate because of the baby's measurements), I have to admit, I was worried.  Even Jamie, who has remained determinedly optimistic throughout this whole experience, was really excited about the news.  I have to say, this whole experience provided an interesting look at local government.  I'm very thankful for the senators and representatives who are continuing to fight for their constituencies despite the roadblocks set by the executive branch.

32 Week Pregnancy Stats

Week: 32
Baby's fundal height: 32 cm
Baby's heartbeat: 156 bpm (active)
 
Blood pressure: 122/70
Weight gain: 20 lbs.
Belly button: in (barely)
Stretch marks: 1
Swelling: none
Heartburn: a little
Other side effects: no sleep!
Overall comfort:  good*


Looking forward to my first baby shower this weekend!

Nesting and emotional rollercoasters

I'm 31 weeks pregnant, and man, these past couple of weeks, I have felt PREGNANT.  I feel completely different from one day to the next.  Some of that has to do with my erratic sleep schedule; I just cannot sleep through the night.  This morning, I woke up at 2 a.m. and haven't been able to get back to sleep.  The sleep has definitely affected my ability to concentrate, which is annoying because I have a lot I need to do!  I am also becoming more forgetful and klutzier than usual.  Since I have been pregnant, I lost my promise ring and my swimsuit.  I also almost lost my engagement ring (as in, I dropped my bag as I was leaving the gym, my ring fell out, and I was fortunate enough that someone had turned it in when I noticed a few minutes later and went back to check).  I'm constantly tripping over things.  Two days ago, I decided that because I was so tired, I would bring a spare coffee pot to work so that I could drink decaf (less caffeine is better for the baby) without subjecting my office to decaf.  On the way into the office, I dropped the coffee pot and it shattered all over the floor, completely ending that plan.

In Limbo

My nesting instincts are kicking into high gear.  It doesn't help that recent circumstances are not cooperating!  The health insurance issues are still looming, though legislators are talking about a possible extension until December!  Did I mention that a state senator called me?  No, not the a senator's aide, the senator himself.  That felt pretty cool.

There have been a few work situations I've wanted to post on this blog, but hesitated because I didn't want to divulge any information that could hurt me professionally.  But, if the purpose of this blog is to talk about a work-life balance, I guess I will have to talk about my work at some point, so here goes....

My boss recently told me the point person while I'm on maternity leave might be hired for a new position he wants to create.  Oh, but I shouldn't worry because if he is selected, he won't officially assume the new position until I get back.  Uh huh.  I've had my leave plan in writing since February and my boss approved it, so I am less than thrilled to have this news dropped in my lap now.  Don't get me wrong; I have been recommending this employee be considered for this position (should it be created) for over a year now.  He would be perfect for it, he's been a great employee, and I will do everything I can to support him.  But, the timing and implementation on my boss's part are poor.

FMLA

I recently learned while I am on leave, according to governmental regulations, I am not allowed to check email, return phone calls, or do anything work related.  My boss's response was "oh, don't worry, that won't stop me from calling you to see how you're doing and then saying 'oh, while I have you on the phone....'"  Granted, I want to stay in the loop while I'm gone; that's just my nature.  But, I am not obligated, nor should I be expected to do so.  I think I can solve this issue by taking intermittent (not continuous) FMLA.  If my doctor were willing to approve this, I could take up to 450 hours off, and subtract any time I spend working at home.  I am told most doctors require continuous leave for the first 6-8 weeks (meaning that working at home is not permitted), so most likely, if my doctor allowed me to work at home at all, she would specify some sort of cap (i.e. "not to exceed five hours per week).  My hope is to make all expectations crystal clear for all parties, and get the full amount of leave I am entitled to.  If my boss were to make a lot of those "oh by the way..." phone calls and assign my backup to other tasks, no problem for me; that just means he would be prolonging the amount of time before I return to the office.  We'll see.  

Labor and Birthing Classes

With so many unknowns, I've been more and more worried about the labor process.  Earlier in the week, I really felt like I am at the mercy of everyone else right now.  That feeling bugs me; I do not like to ask for help and I do not like to depend on others.  I met with a doula two days ago in the hopes that she would be able to put my mind at ease for a natural birth.  Jamie wasn't impressed.  His response was "she didn't tell you anything you didn't already know."  True.  I have a meeting with another doula next week, so we'll see if she's any better.

Luckily, I just started the first in a series of three birth classes last night and the instructor is amazing.  I feel a lot better.  I walked out of that class pretty convinced that by the end of the three weeks I will have all of the information I need to make informed decisions during my labor and will not need a doula.  I also felt great yesterday.  I had a ton of energy, and everything seemed to click.  Of course, I had also gotten a full night's sleep the night before, so we'll see how today goes considering I'm running on three hours' sleep right now.

Pregnancy stats

Week: 30
Baby's fundal height: 30 cm
Baby's heartbeat: 152 bpm (active)
 
Blood pressure: 114/68
Weight gain: 18 lbs.
Belly button: in
Stretch marks: 1
Swelling: none
Heartburn: none
Other side effects: calf cramps
Overall comfort:  good*

Edit: As the day has worn on, actually, I feel kind of run down right now.  I felt like this last Saturday at the wedding too, but assumed it was just from all the traveling.  I hope this isn't a sign of what the next 10 weeks will be like.

Who needs sleep, anyway?

Every time I go through a major life change, my sleep schedule goes right out the window, and being pregnant has been no different.  Last night was probably one of the worst nights sleep-wise.  I've been up since 1:30 a.m.  Luckily, I still managed to stay on track at work today (thanks to some coffee, which I'm trying to avoid as much as possible).

Another side effect of this pregnancy is I get charley horses in my calves a few times a week now!  They've been bad since the I've tried increasing my potassium and calcium intake (both can supposedly contribute to the cramps), but no luck.

Regardless, I can't complain.  The baby is measuring well, and every test so far has shown we are both healthy.  ::Fingers crossed things stay that way::

A backup plan

Since receiving less-than-reassuring information about the state health care issues, I've been trying to read up on inductions.  Most of the information I've received through books, the Internet and talking to others has made me very wary of induction.  My doctor, though, was open to considering induction.  She said every measurement and ultrasound since the beginning of my pregnancy has been on target with my due date and she is not afraid that my due date could be off.  As long as I am dilated at 39 weeks, she is willing to induce on or after September 26 if that is what I decide, and she has induced many women who went on to deliver vaginally, without an epidural.  She said inductions cannot be scheduled more than 10 days in advance, so this gives me plenty of time to see how things progress before making a decision.  I like her no-nonsense approach and the fact that she takes the time to provide me with scientific-based reasoning behind her answers; it helps me put the things I read into perspective. 

Last week, I called my state representative's office.  They told me a decision regarding the insurance should be announced in early August, so at least I will have plenty of time to prepare.  I also did receive a call back from a staff member in the Department of Health and Human Services, who pointed me to a couple of bills that apply to my situation.  I am still hoping I will not need to be induced, but it's nice to know I have options and will not be backed into making a decision at the last minute that I could regret.

Loose Ends

I haven't had any major news recently, just lots of little updates.  Ok, they're not little to me, but I doubt anyone else would get too excited about them.

The health insurance debacle is still yet to be resolved.  The good news is, an insurance carrier HAS to cover my delivery.  The bad news is, the out of pocket costs may be more than I can afford to pay.  Basically, if I go into labor at 11:59 p.m. or earlier on September 28, I am covered by my current, awesome, health insurance plan.  If I go into labor at 12 a.m. on September 29 or later, there is a chance I will be defaulted into a much, much more expensive plan.  Of course, this is all assuming the State does not just sign a senate bill to extend the current plans for another two years, but there is a very, very good chance the governor will follow through with his current plan to desk veto that Bill (he has already announced publicly that he will do this).  If that happens, the House and Senate do not intend to extend the emergency coverage past its current extension.  My due date is October 3.  Induction carries several risks.  Both hospitals in my area refuse to induce prior to 39 weeks without a medically-necessary reason because of those risks, and I am very appreciative of this policy.  I called the State Department of Health and Human Services today, and spoke with a very empathetic employee who passed along my information to "higher ups" who are supposed to be calling me back.  At my next appointment, I also plan to check with my doctor to weigh the risks of inducing at 11:59 p.m. on September 28. 

Jamie and I started our first baby-related class--a breastfeeding class.  I was really excited for this class.  Breastfeeding is important to me because of the multitude of benefits it provides to the baby, and I wanted to be as prepared as possible so I don't run into any issues, which is very common.  Sadly, the class was a giant waste of time.  The first hour was spent listening to the instructor's soapbox about how great breastfeeding is.  All of this info was covered in the first 20 or so pages of So That's What They're For.  And, the instructor made most of her points in the first 10 minutes, and spent the next 50 rambling.  Hello, I signed up for the class!  You're preaching to the choir!  Make with the info already!  I hope the other classes are more informative and less preachy.

Speaking of food, I'm currently looking for easy-to-freeze recipes to make things easier after the birth.  I came across this awesome blog, and I can't wait to try some of these recipes out: http://karainthekitchen.com/.

I also bought some gifts for my mom and Jamie's mom, and I'm putting together gift baskets for our shower hostesses!

It isn't hormones

...or maybe it is, but that's not  a bad thing.  Lately, I tend to notice things in the moment more often than I did before.  Ya know the saying "hindsight is 20/20"?  Throughout my life, I've felt like this statement seems to mock me more times than I'd like to admit.  I cannot count the number of times I've thought of the perfect come back 20 seconds AFTER a conversation was over. I feel like I see things more clearly, which is good.  Now I just need to come up with a game plan.

Raising a shopaholic!

Garage sales are amazing! I don't know why I never noticed before, but you really can score lots of amazing, brand new or nearly new finds when it comes to baby stuff at garage sales. One of the first things I found was an $80 baby gate on sale for $10. I knew this was a steal because I shopped for baby gates when I was first house training our dog, Annie, several years ago. I also knew this was a steal because another shopper actually tried to take the gate out of my hand! Lol, after that, I was hooked.  Here's Annie, mystified by all of these new things.

I found lots of deals.  I wasn't really keeping track of what I bought or how much I already had; I was just buying any new or nearly new outfits I thought were cute and storing them all in the basement.  Since the nursery is really coming together, a few nights ago, I bought a few packs of kid hangers from Target and decided to wash and hang up all of the clothing (except onesies, which will go in a drawer).  Holy crap!  I bought a ton of stuff!  Jamie was surprised when I told him I was able to wash all of it in two loads of laundry, until he looked into the dryer and saw just how many outfits two loads of baby laundry actually is.  Here's the haul, minus onesies, including lots of hand-me-downs from our nieces.  The adorable bright pink tutu on the right is a swimsuit from Jamie's other mom, Linda.  I can't wait for our little one to try it out next summer.

This is one of my favorite outfits, from Jamie's mom.  So cute!

Hey, a baby's gotta eat!

I had no idea the topic of feeding a baby could be so controversial. I mean sure, I knew even before getting pregnant that breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding was a highly debated topic. But I had no idea it could create so many problems, to the point where trying to feed your baby could result in nationwide attention, as in this article: Moms Hold Breastfeeding Sit-In. I also didn't know some women argue against pumping, and encourage nursing EVERY TIME a child has to eat. Really, times have changed, and these viewpoints, both on opposite ends of the spectrum (that breastfeeding should only occur in private, and that babies should be nursed every single time) place some very weighty expectations on mothers that I know I, for one, cannot live up to. That being said, I am astounded by the fact that breast milk is basically liquid gold and that I can actually produce the healthiest thing my baby can consume (btw, I give Neil Patrick Harris major kudos for getting breast milk flown in for his baby daughter, and for raising awareness of the benefits of breast milk). I still need to come up with a plan for pumping and storage after I return to work. And once the baby begins to eat solids, I'm excited to make homemade baby food! So much to plan for!

It's all coming together!

Yesterday was a busy day, but it ended in us getting a crib and changing table! Even though the crib is probably one of the biggest and most important decisions in baby-related purchases, this was least enjoyable process overall for me. I felt like there weren't many options available in my area, and as a result, we selected the crib based on what we could find, not which crib was best. For starters, we do not have a Babies 'R Us, Land of Nod, or Buy Buy Baby in our area. As we found out, most regular furniture stores do not sell baby furniture. Or, if they used to sell baby furniture, they stopped as of the crib recall in 2010 (by the way, BabyCenter.com has compiled a great list of easily searchable product recalls). I read that the best brands are Munire, Westwood and Bonavita, but could not find a store near us that carries any of those brands and we didn't want to buy a crib sight unseen. Department stores like JC Penney and Sears only sell cribs online (in our area, at least).

We stopped at a Babies 'R Us one day while visiting my mom. We found three cribs we liked, and after a week of comparing, made a final choice. BabiesRUs.com has a giant graphic on the product description of most cribs that says "FREE SHIPPING"! Awesome, right? I thought so, until I saw the $500 shipping fee as I was entering my credit card info. Apparently, that's free shipping up to $20, which of course, is absolutely useless when it comes to cribs. (Hey, I ordered our entertainment center online with free shipping, so I maintain that it is not completely idiotic to think free shipping could apply to furniture.)

After a little searching, I found one furniture store in our area that sells cribs...only to get there and find out they do not keep stock; all of their cribs are ordered online. They were also way out of our price range--the set would have been more than we spent on the real oak set in our bedroom! It's kid furniture; I want nice, but not so nice that I'm going to freak out when it gets destroyed by crayon, or whatever other crazy thing the kid decides to do to it. None of the employees seemed to have much knowledge about cribs either. Since it's not a core function of their business, they couldn't say much beyond "oh, these cribs are very safe."

So, we checked Target. At this point, our only criteria was whether or not it was cute and not recalled. So we found one. Not available at any store within 80 miles, and Target.com does not offer in-store pickup. In our second choice set, the store had one changing table, which we bought, and the crib was available at a store 45 minutes away. We drove there, bought the crib, drove back, opened the box and saw...two baby gates. That's right. We paid for the crib, and received a box filled with two baby gates. ...Back to Target... But, we finally have the furniture and Jamie set both pieces up last night!

In the past week, we also bought some rattan boxes for storing baby supplies, letters to do a cute wall hanging with the baby's name (although now we're going back and forth on what the name will be), and we received the Dr. Seuss wall quote that I ordered on Etsy from Project3Designs. Pictures to come after the nursery has been unveiled to friends and family. Yay!

Pregnancy is teaching me...

Sometimes I need to ask for help.

I hate not being able to do simple things, like refill the water cooler at work.  I know that sounds silly, but I am not used to needing help from others, no matter how willing they are to offer. When I told my boss I was pregnant he said, in reference to another colleague who recently had a baby, "we know some days she's not going to come in at 100%, and that's OK. We accommodate, and we're happy to do it because she has given so much to us in the past and continues to do so. Same with you." He said a lot more, which I will have to summarize in another post, but the point is, it's great to know I have support when I need it.

My life will change. I cannot do everything I used to do.

Ok, this is probably completely obvious to everyone but me.  Before I got pregnant, I came across some blogs about rock climbing while pregnant and thought, "that will totally be me!"  I knew which harness to buy, and I thought I was all set.  At my 7-week appointment, I shared my plans with my doctor, who rightfully, flipped out.  I looked back at the blogs I had found, and talked to some other climbers.  The fact is, I couldn't find any medically-based information that verified that yes, climbing is safe.  Maybe I wasn't looking in the right places, I don't know.  But for now, climbing will have to wait.

As will running, unfortunately.  Now, running is one activity that IS safe during pregnancy.  And I was running regularly, up until I fell at 22 weeks.  And I mean FELL.  My ankle turned and I was splayed out on the concrete, with scrapes on my knees and shoulder.  Of course, this happened the DAY AFTER my 22 week appointment.  Yes, I have a weak right ankle, but this has never happened to me before.  Back to the doctor I went, and the nurses hooked me up to a machine to monitor whether or not I was having contractions.  After 10 minutes, they determined the baby is safe and I was not having any contractions.  But, due to continued social pressure, mostly from my husband, who as he put it, "would like to put me in a bubble until I deliver," I switched to swimming instead.

I hate the question, "How are you feeling?"

I realize it's fairly common and people who ask have the best of intentions. And I would never want to offend someone by telling them I hate the question. But, I am healthy, capable and happy. Yes, it's true I can't do everything, but I can still do a lot. Most of the time, when people ask me, I say "good, how are you?" More often than not, they respond, "[confused look] I'm fine...but I'm not pregnant."

Life will throw curve balls no matter how well I plan.

I looked up maternity classes, knew exactly how much the cost of the delivery would be, and the hospital I would be delivering at. I even showed up at the hospital when I was four months along to ask questions (and the nurses were friendly and more than happy to chat, but even they said I was overly prepared).

Without going into the whole sordid mess, my health insurance situation (along with the health insurance of 200,000+ employees) is up in the air right now, through no fault of my own or my employer, and may not get sorted out until five days before my due date. Worst case, there is the possibility that my insurance carrier will not be available when I deliver, and the insurance carriers that are offered may not cover my delivery because of the timing.

To love my body.

People have always told me I'm skinny, but before I got pregnant, I was always self conscious. I always thought I could be thinner in one area, or bigger in another. I always found something that wasn't quite right. Those feelings didn't go away overnight (and I was especially self conscious during that fat-but-not-quite-pregnant-looking period around 4-5 months) but now when I look in the mirror, I am truly happy with what I see. I am conscious of what I eat, but I no longer look for the lowest calorie option because I know that won't get me through the day. Instead, I look for the options that provide for square meals--veggies, protein, fruit, and grains. I knew I would be making changes to provide the healthiest environment for my growing baby, but I'm not sure if the change in my mentality came from knowing that I can chalk up any imperfection right now to pregnancy, or whether it was something more. I'm sure the boost in my cup size has something to do with it!

I CAN do this.

When I was younger, there was no question in my mind as to whether or not I would have kids. I even made name lists (all girls--good thing I'm having a girl, I guess). Sometime during my sophomore year of college, I started to question whether I could truly balance a family and a career. I didn't want to just collect a paycheck; I wanted the corner office, fast-paced lifestyle, and I just didn't know if I could do that with a kid in tow. Over the past two years before I got pregnant I rarely worked less than 10 hour days, and it wasn't uncommon to work 14 hours a day or longer once a week. My New Year's resolution this year was to make more time for myself. Since finding out I am pregnant, I have put in less overtime and gotten things done. My staff seems less stressed and more flexible as well. I don't attribute these things to being pregnant, of course, but it's nice to see things fall into place.

The wait between monthly doctor visits feels like an eternity.

And the visits themselves will always feel too rushed. I always remember one more question for the doctor an hour after my appointment. Next week is my last monthly visit. After that, I'll be in my third trimester, which means I'll be going every two weeks!

My friends and family are truly amazing.

They go out of their way to show they care. Most of them don't have kids, and up until my husband and I announced I am pregnant, I told them I didn't want kids. I didn't expect them to understand or to care, but they do. And it means the world to me.

The Climb

Yes, I just put a Miley Cyrus song in your head.  I'm sorry (not really).  No, I'm not a Miley fan, but the song sums up the past two years for me. 

I accepted a promotion to middle management at work.  With it came huge opportunities, and a lot to reevaluate.  I received support from many unexpected sources, in ways I unfortunately must admit I didn't always recognize at first.  I received one piece of advice from an experienced colleague of mine that I will never forget.  She told me the lessons I learn in my first year will stick with me throughout my entire career, and to write it all down because I will cherish it.  My first year was rough.  Most of it I did not want to write down, and regardless, I didn't have time.  But, I did start to make mental notes.  Whether afraid, excited, scared, proud, I would sometimes catch myself thinking "there's another one for the blog."

Climbing and running got me through the first year. I needed the adrenaline rush and I needed the sense of accomplishment, no matter how small.  Slowly, things fell into place, and I (and others) saw my plans come to fruition.  I learned who I could trust, and those people mean the world to me.  I started to think more about my next steps than about just keeping my head above water, which was really exciting.  I love having things to plan for, whether at work or in my personal life.  I also taught a graduate-level class in the fall of 2010.  Around that time my husband and I started talking the next step for our family.  We agreed to start trying for a baby in February because would be done teaching and I could time my maternity leave with our employer's holiday break and wouldn't fall quite as behind at work.  Well, after seven years of waiting, this baby was not about to wait any longer!  I went off birth control in January and found out I was pregnant in January!

Being pregnant has given me a lot to blog about.  During the past six months, I have experienced so many quirky, amazing things that have made me think "wow, THAT is something for the blog."  Of course, as I read other pregnancy blogs out there, I realize my experiences aren't all that unique.  I find myself identifying with others' sentiments, or thinking "yeah, I USED to think that too."  One thing I've realized is there aren't too many blogs out there about women who are proud to be mothers and work.  Having a career is hard.  Having a newborn, I can only imagine, will be infinitely harder.  Both at the same time?  I am excited, but I know I will need advice and inspiration.  There's even a blog called Confessions from a Working Mom.  I was really excited when I first found it, only to find that the author ultimately decided to stay at home.  Don't get me wrong, this is not about a soapbox.  It's about support.  I did find this list of working mom blogs that I will start to sift through.  I will continue to read, process, and write down as much as I can, and hopefully, the information I find will be useful to others too.